I love my mom

I miss them..
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398th

Hi, it's my 398th Post.

Today is "ren ri", people's birthday, or "everyone's birthday", so long as you are a living human being!

I just realized it. I mean, i just recalled about this ren ri. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

I was feeling rather tired and exhausted the entire day.

has become clumsier, and seems like my physical body is quite weak.

Having pain, showing that the big auntie is gonna visit anytime soon.



Mentally, being quite messy up there. cluttered thoughts. confused ideas.

It's more to the negative sides. I better stop all that.

How is everyone doing?

For me, there are things which are moving forward, and things which are staggered, some which are stagnant.

For the one which is moving forward, I'm very happy and glad about it.

I hope I would become better and better. Thank You Dad for the support, finally. And Family. And whoever who gave me supports. Thank You. I guess I would be spending more time over there.

Things which are staggering, moving unsteadily.... I'm sorry for my lack of productivity, recently. It's because there is lack of people's support. I believe, we all can't just work at a place, without human bonding, without human touch, without love between each and every partner. Well, I'm just not a person like this. Independent, yes, but not to the extent that i could work and work, as if I'm the mother, and i'm just working for my children's sake, despite having no more love or any affections towards my husband. If you know what i mean.

I think, to work as a team, as least we must love each other as a friend. Respect, and all that. Some told me that If I would just focus on my part, and do my part, and care no more about what the rest has done, things would fall correctly at the right places. Okay, I would try to do something. Try my best, and give focus on my own acceleration.

But i'm just wondering why i could just start disliking someone so easily. I should really change that.

I'm also curious at how poor people are at their After Sale Service. They just forget about you completely. They treat you like shit after deal is closed, transaction made, and money transferred. You know what i mean? That's really irritating, and it pretty much upsets me.

Beginning to see and tearing more of the masque covering the reality. I guess what i saw and experience are only 0.00001%.

When we are studying, we always think that life is beautiful, you are just being negative. It is, but i guess the reality is as such, and will be as such as least for the time being. And what we have got to do, to change the world, is just change the way we think, and the way we view things.

Just like there is never someone perfect for you, you just have to love his/her perfections and imperfections as well, in order to make the love whole and beautiful.


About the thing which seems like it's not moving at all, I was passionate, the fire was burning hot, obstacle came....... was that a perceived obstacle? or is it really there? It could be a great thing. I'm quite confused, and unsure as to continue, or to stop. Am i just wasting my money and time just like that?


Have been having several conversations. About understanding. Respect. Change. Expensive Things is Better. Time Management...........

Sometimes i too would just fall into pieces. feeling scattered. you know what i mean. It's exactly how i feel now. sometimes people would tell me how good how good I am, sometimes they would come and tell me how terrible i am.

Something which i really need to learn is stop wanting to win over all battle. And stop wanting to be the first. And stop trying to prove myself right.

I'm rather tired. I think i need a good rest. You too, have a good rest yourself.

With Love.

Hey

Just testing here to blog with my phone!
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Always wanted a...



 telescope.. 

Was just thinking about this, my house next time, I will have a place,

a very nice and comfortable open space,

 a balcony, specially for this telescope, and for me to view the beautiful sky and outer space! :)



Look at how beautiful the stars are :)

 I'm a person who can just sit or lie down, to just watch the sky and stare at the twinkling stars.

And not get bored even after hours :)

My Wish List <3


hang loose

I have many things to say.

I know not to speak wisely. I know not to speak appropriately.

If you would just come closer, you can hear me whisper. I speak better that way.

I'm too worried about what you think, what he thinks, what she thinks, and what they think.

Living under pressure, thinking that I should be great in everything,  or i shall be ashamed of myself.

Being overly detail-oriented, that's what they say, making all people around me so stressful, wait, do you mean that not many people are like that? You mean all people will only scan through main points? Wait, you mean I'm a perfectionist?

Crap, I didn't even know I was one.

But truly, slowly i could sense that people are not having great time around me. People get tensed up. People are so stressed out. Am I giving all of you too much pressure?

My dear friends, do know that I love you alot. Do forgive me about me being overly pushy. They said I should stop being so detail-orientated. They said I should let go, and learn to hang loose.

I'm quite afraid that when i hang loose, i might loose everything.

Am I holding everything too tight, till I can't receive anymore things?

Is everyone fed up and getting bored of me?

I'm a sensitive person. I cry very easily. I always want to prove myself right, when you think i'm wrong but when I think I'm right

Perhaps I should just let it all go. and relax.

Why are some people always loved by everyone around them?

How nice to be like one. How nice to have everyone listen to what you have got to say.

How nice to be loved by everyone. How nice to have people enjoying your company, and wanting to see you everyday.

I'm sorry. Deeply sorry for any stress or tensions caused.


They said you don't have to give any explanation about yourself to anyone. Reason being:

1. People who knows you well enough doesn't need that.

2. People who don't know you well probably don't even give a damn.


So I will just Say: I'm sorry. I wished to have treated you guys in a looser way. In a more relaxed manner. which we will have a happier relationships, and merrier happenings...

Good Night, I mean, yeah. Good Night.

A better tomorrow, yeah, and hopefully, and looser me.

Cheers.