shyness..

something i wanna breakfree from.

i might not seem like one of them who are shy,

but truly i am.

i have friends asking me to join their other groups of friends,

birthday parties with only one or two persons that i know of,

clubbings,

movies with their girlfriends who i have never seen before,

island trip with only 1 or 2 friends i know

and 10 others tom, dick and harry which are strangers to me...

u know what are my responses to these invitations normally??

dont want la dont want to go la. i am damn anti-social one!

i know. some people are born with the ability to talk to anyone comfortably even at the very first meet.

but i am not lor. sorry to say that.

some used to tell me i can do small talks.

in other words "hala" which the taiwanese often use.

my acting might be good or what i don't know,

or my maintained face is in real good maintenance :P

so u guys are tricked by my looks haha.

but well,

i actually really hate meeting new people.

one word.

troublesome!

need to maintain abit to give the so called best first impression.

sometimes gets butterflies*** in the stomach.

sometimes says hi, i'm chean voon ^^

and smile very very long :)))))))))))))))))))) and very sweet somemore u know.

cuz don't know what else to talk about already.

(still smiling...)

other than which uni,

"monash ^^"

where u stay?

"taman tun^^"

what fields are u in ah?

"oh doing biz^^"

"Oh...Accounting and Economics ^^"

(if they even bothered to ask!)

bla bla.

and then toot.

nothing to talk about already.

i look at u and u look at me.

i stare at u, u stare back at me somemore.

then i look up and down left and right, front and back...

then bye bye the silence kills the haven't-even-started relationship!

(still smiling very sweetly but inside sweat like hell and wanna run away from that stranger immediately!!)

crap.

shyness.

how to make them go away!!

TODAY..

a friend of mine FORCED me to meet a friend of his.

he wanted me to conquer my fear la i know.

an ALOT elder man.

saying he's as nice as him,

so he's sure i will like him as well.

just that he's more handsome than that guy........(oh pls :P)

then my this friend quite often he would talk about him..

so, while driving to his house....

i was making all the i dont wanna go i dont wanna go i dont wanna go plssss sound....

driving very very extremely slow.........

my friend is very bad! :(

somemore told that new friend that i am VERY RELUCTANT to MEET HIM U KNOW!!!!

bad.

but this is my first time after soooooooooooooooooooo long meeting new people like this.

was feeling so nervous.

but undeniably,

it was a different kind of experience.

cuz he's very mature, and calm, and super knowledgeable.

so can learn alot from him thru the conversations we had today.

3 of us :)

my friend somemore tease me,

now u feel like going back or not??

dont feel like going back isn't it????? *with the cheeky face*

told u he's very nice.........

wanna tease me infront of the guy somemore blek.

anyways the talk was great la i have to admit,

learned alot.

and of course no regrets meeting him lo..

he's nice la. a nice guy.

just that i am still quite shy. although the shyness has reduced abit.

howww...???

ok la i know la. sometimes i am too reserved already.

but if not good people, why meet wor...... ngam??

my principle in life,

always meet with all kinds of people,

but only go closer to those who are positive and able to make u feel good about yourself and people who are trustworthy.

those who are negative...... just keep a distance.

that's why i got so many hi-bye friends which i am so lazy and relunctant to even spend an extra minute talkin to them lor!

ok la. i am very lanci i know.

what to do. -_-

ok i know its very stupid,

but i just realized something.

maybe i am not shy,

maybe i am just super ultra extra extremely selective towards friends..

which in other words means lanci??

shy or lanci??

shy or lanci now????!

yor. double headache.

*smack forehead*