thanks dear for calling from so far.

ok u have no idea how bad it is to have mood fluctuating up and down

just like the weather these days..


but well u see me laughing and u feel me crying.

very different side of me i know sometimes u wonder who the hell is this little girl here.

i don't know. i might not be little but i like that little girl thing.

ah..

yes darling cw, i've finally bought my heels! =)

and u, like one more day to go ok! quick quick get all your ball stuffs.

and we shall enjoy to the fullest there yeah! ;)

just get high and crazy and dance like there is no tomorrow ok??

don't worry. i will teach u salsa. :P

no guarantee though haha.

yeah.

u heard me laugh.

mood swings,

mood swings..

whose doesn't?

blame me not...

are u true?

u know sometimes u feel so terribly down,

that u don't feel like doing anything at all??

u just feel like surrendering all the sweet memories u have in you and just turn over a new leaf and stop being so emo and emo and emo?

i don't know.

emo-ness is such a killer.

it makes u having no mood to study, no mood to attempt tutorial questions,

or even no mood to attend the monash ball after getting all the necessary stuffs.
no mood to do anything at all except being emo.

the feeling sucks.

seriously.

i wanna eat.

i don't know

i wanna go out.

i wanna go out.


i don't know

wonder who would actually know what u really feel.

like,

well even if u do,

doesn't mean u would give a damn right.

so u read my blog.

why are u reading it ??
do u really care?

are u really someone who cares about me so much that u are really so interested to know what is going on with my life?

or are u just someone who hates me and just wanna laugh at whatever emo days i have?

i don't know.

i just wanna know where can we find true people.

the world is so full of pretentious people,

that i really have no idea how to deal with them anymore.

so much to be emo.


i want a break.

i need a break.

break from all these pretenses..

where can i find genuineness?

where can i find sincerity?
where??

tell me...

feeling so weak now that i have no strength to even believe that there are actually people who are true existed in this world.

truly true people who i don't have to get so headache to be with..

i don't know.

may the emo goes off soon...

=(

yor.

why u are not here again.

i'm sure we will be screaming here and there,

laughing non-stop while doing our hairdo and makeups......

i miss u dear. so much =(

p/s: raindrops keep falling on my head on the way to class... let me stay healthy please...

still on shopaholic mode.

just had the most torturous moment of dental crowning part 1.

part 2 is on 5th.

and paying RM800 to make myself suffer. Life is so funny isn't it.

is it really Karma?? i wonder.

anyways,


bought a dress yesterday.

now going one utama to look for my Pretty High Heels :P


Law of attraction. Law of attraction.Law of attraction.

shopping for Dresses!


must must must really bring out the shopaholic spirit in me ,

if not can't get any dresses to monash ball how!!

u know.

went and look for dresses today.


saw one damn pretty..

damn damn pretty.

laceeeeeeeey..........

so princess-like.

BUT

RM599 le!


OUCH.

i did not buy it le.

got discount.

but after discount still RM500.


ahh..

ok, did not get any dresses today.

except for one Irrelevant piece.


ahh!

so distracted.


wish me luck tomorrow.

felicia, we are going tomorow right???

and loo.. u wanna come along? ;)

being superwoman.


so long no see...

was so so so busy with my uni work.

wednesday one assignment.

and just handed in my another assignment today.


and Presentation is done as well!


Ergun : "very good"


yeah darling! we succeeded in confusing them!

no one attacked us with questions! :P

remember last week there were more than 10 questions attacking the presenters?

yeah!

our strategy.

if we can't convince them, CONFUSE THEM!

and WE did it! i guess. wahaha.


by the way.

very very sleepy need to sleep now.

cuz slept at 6 30 am today
and woke up 930 am

rushing to complete my presentation slides!

and that assignment too.

don't blame me on last minute.

i started early.

just that it took more time than i estimated. that's all.


by the way, never had good sleep for so many nights!

sleeping late, waking up early. walao.

so NOT me..


by the way,

today, went to that dance workshop again.
and wow,


it was so so so so fun!!

we did all the dances again!!

Salsa, Rhumba, Samba, Chacha...

AHHHHHHH!!

love Salsa so much!!

Rhumba makes me feel so in love :P

and cha cha.. so so so fun!!

using Lady Marmalde song so sexy. :P


" he met marmalde down in road moulin rounge... cha cha cha"

"struting her stuff on the street... cha cha cha"

hahaa.... had so much fun today.


danced with so many different partners today.


Enjoyed myself alot!! :D



so it's like even after so many weeks since accounting theory assignment of being superwoman.


the dances really bring so much relaxation to me!!


so so so looking forward to the next dancing session u know?? ;)
alright seeya.





p/s: i have decided to go to the ball.

since many said i should really go :P
ok.



so who wants to come go look for dressess with me???!

i have only like ONE WEEK LEFT!


ah....

no time to diet also. waliao.


help!



ok if i cant get a dress that fits me,

i will change my mind.....

to go or not to go

Monash Ball.

we have that annually in Monash.


so since first year, people will come and ask me.

u going monash ball ah?

then i will answer,

" no ah, don't think so, wait till the last year only i go la, first year go for what ler"



and now.

this is my Final year already.



but,

what the hell,

i am still hesitating??!


people are asking me to go. should go. why don't want to go.

should i really go?


is it worth to spend so much of money just for that one night,

when my dear tomato is so far away in Australia?

and my darling cheng wai doesn't wanna go this time as well?


p/s : yk told me forget about tomato first, life have to go on. Yeen!! go scold him!! haha . but seriously without you there, i have no reason to go already.


except to act vain and dress to kill. :P

nah i am just kidding la. haha. even if i go, i will just go low key ok. :P


but i can't guarantee if people will go lower than me or not. blek. :P


haih.

everyone in uni keep asking me.

" eh chean voon, u going to the ball ah?? "

"oh, not sure le. still considering..."

" har considering about what ler. its already your last year should go ma"


ah ah ah ah ah.

such difficult decision to make.


and the ball is on 30th August 2008.

should i go for merdeka count down instead??

oh no



i am feeling so so so so weird right now,

u know,

i have the sudden urge to just run to a seaside now??????!!

damn, i miss redang.

i miss those snorkeling.

i miss those beautiful sands.

those beautiful skies.

those beautiful waves.


where else can i find such a heaven place again??

i wanna go to a sea.



i wanna explore the ocean...

i wanna go snokerling...




i wanna just lie down by the beach.....







i need to go now..


i wanna go collect those beautiful sea shells....


can't wait.


can't wait any longer... :(

u know now sitting here i can't do anything at all except googling for those beautiful sea pictures????????


damn.


some one please bring me to a sea...

need to go..

really really urgently.....


u won't know how i feel now, seriously....... :(


unless u have a love for the sea like how i have mine for her.......



take me to the sea please? will you?

08.08.08


weeee...!!


watching Olympic now! :P


today is such a special day everyone should appreaciate okie!! :D

Why you love me like that?


it's a very nice song..


wait till the bridge part. its the most beautiful part of the song.


this song is by the wreckers with michelle branch and Jessica.


"Love me Like that"


i really love Michelle Branch.

she can sing so well.


i wanna sing like her.




i don't know.


sometimes i think i am just overly considerate for others.

like during sing k session,


i would avoid choosing those kinda songs where no one knows u know.


i want everyone to just sing together instead of solo solo and solo.


i don't want anyone to be left out.



u understand me?



but now,



i guess its just being too selfless.


i always can't sing the songs i want.


i don't care.



the next time i'm gonna do my michelle branch songs.

i'm gonna go high with my Fir.


i'm gonna sing like there's no tomorrow.



and shh. tell u a secret.


i really hate those people who talks so loudly when it comes to a song which they do not know?


do it low ok.


have some respects for yourself and others.


i really hate that.


seriously i have never done anything like that when others sing any song which sounded alien to me.



i don't know.


i just hate that.


it's just so rude!


whisper la. talking louder than the singer somemore.


walao eh.



so i say singing in the bathroom is still the best...


no interruptions or whatsoever.

ya i know my singing can be so uncaptivating and so unnice or whatsoever negative remarks u can think of,

but oh come on,

Just don't be so rude ok.

and Loo!

when wanna go sing k??


u promised to go HigH with me!


but my semester is so overwhelming now ler.


gotta get the handling smooth first :P


i guess after my finals lor ok.



it's my promise to u!

and guess what,

we are doing cha cha tomorrow!

weeeeeee... :P

Precious moments... are meant to be appreciated. :)



very busy here indeed!

uni is getting increasingly hectic.

i should be enjoying the momentum eh?

after all it's already my last semester!


yeah,


u know what.
recent discovery.
self-realization.


i so love to work in the evening!

yeah..

those precious moments
before the sun disappears
below the horizon in the west...

so beautiful.. :)

*grateful & appreciate*

puteri lilin wen

argh!

i can't stand it anymore.

its soooo hot!

the weather is so terribly hot these few days!

always get headache when i drive under the hot sun.

now as well. :(

eating my kuai ling gou.

hope it helps.... =(


p/s: can someone just let me manja awhile, will ease the headache abit i guess =(



and u know i need to go see my dentist later, cuz i don't know why i was chewing on my energy bar yesterday and eh why so hard one,

there was this small piece of my tooth just came off like that!!

and the size is like approximately 3mm x 4mm x 4mm??!!
walao. damn scary.


First time happening to me ok.

made my entire sunday so blue.
yor


i hate going to the dental clinic la.

its so damn tired to open your mouth for an hour.

no rest.
u don't need to rest, ppl also need to rest one ma.
those dentist should take up psychology study as well!!


have u heard of "locked-jaw"?

someone told me i have that.

and people who has that kinda jaw would feel extremely tired before even opening the mouth for half a minute.
yor,
NO WONDER LA!


i wish it was just a nightmare that the 1/6 of the tooth fell off.

my younger sis trying to comfort me by telling me that there was once also her teeth feel off.

then i asked when?

only to realize that it was her Milk teeth.

yor what la.

people different story la!


and my another sister was shocked and asked me why the tooth can just fall like that,
i'm not pregnant also,

only happen to pregnant lady normally ma.


yaya.

maybe too Lacked of Calcium??

:(

i don't wanna go!


i feel like just sleeping now,

and wake up and find my that tooth are still in very good condition.


wish it was just a nightmare.


yah.

i WISH!!

=(

beyond that $

was having a short conversation with the old indian auntie, a neighbour opposite us.




u know,



like normal hi, how are you, taken your dinner and so on..



but i was waiting for my sister outside that day,



so i went to her gate and talked to her.



she told me about her recent health. about only her left ear is functioning.. taking medication..


how her son told her not go out alone, as if she ever faint anywhere, at least there is someone with her and so on...



she's about 80-90?? what can we expect =)




then she went on telling me, she can't go to her son's house due to this. Her son has a house in Singapore. a Bangalow! she emphasized.



and the son's children, her grandson,


one is a doctor, one is a lawyer, and another one is a geologist!


i was surprised!


and did she mentioned that geologist grandson is in Australia now?



but the thing i wanna say is,


when she told me all these,


it wasn't to boast around i guess.



as she is quite a down to earth lady to me.



and when she was telling me all these,


i can see really Proud and happy expression on her face! :)


i can read " i am so proud of my son and grandchildren!" on her face :P



then i started to remember a good friend of mine ( shall not reveal eh)


told me her mom would be most proud of her if she works in overseas instead of just doing local.


sorry, correction. Her entire family would be very proud of her cuz they can tell,



oh my daughter/sister/granddaughter is currently working in xxx as xxx ( a job which earns rather big money) with a really proud face. and we might be going over soon.....




yeah,


how about me?



will my mother be proud of me for just the way i am?



there was once when i was doing massage for my mom, i asked her a question.



" mommy, do u expect from all your 5 daughters, equally?


like..


do u judge their results based on what you think about their ability to study?



do u judge their bfs or husbands based on what u think about their attractiveness?



do u judge their salary pay based on what u think about their capability to work?



all in all,


i mean,



does my mom expect every daughter to be the same,


having equal results, similar salary pay and stuff,



or does she expect from each of us differently based on what she thinks about our ability and capability to study or work?



i'm sure all 5 of us are different =)




and i did not get the answer.



one of my sister was there.



then she was shocked by my question,


and said " what kind of question are u asking???!! " with that i dont know how to describe face.



but i seriously wish to know what do my parents think.



like for instance,



if one of my sisters is damn smart.


and i am more stupid compared to her.



( in the eyes of our parents)



if they are happy and satisfied only if that sister gets 95 -100 for her exam.



and will they be satisfied with me getting only 70-80 for my exams?



u know what i mean now??





judging our success, based on our abilities and capabilities..



they can't be expecting me to get 95-100 like her if i am more stupid right?



ya,



so that question was left unanswered.



due to the incorrect timing of the questioning.



the presence of a sister,



who think the question is bullshit,



and hence influenced my mom to not answer it as well.





but well..



after typing it out,



i guess it is all not so important right now.



making them proud?



they may set really high standards for me and stuff.



but if i am proud of myself, for the hardwork, and the following success i gain in my life,



i'm sure they will be proud of me as well.



right?



so the friend who is thinking so hard whether to go overseas or to stay?



if u think u will make yourself proud of yourself, just go for it.



only do it for yourself.



instead of like , my mom would be proud of me if i am a doctor ...,



but u simply dislike to study medicine!




u get what i mean?



but afterall.



being proud of ourselves,



isn't all about the success in terms of status and the money u earn.



there are so many more things that we can be proud of ourselves ,



which is beyond all that dollar sign.



for instane,




the way u treat your family and friends.



how sincere and honest are u in each relationship?



are u willing to sacrifice yourself for others?



are u willing to help those who are in need?




and even if u make big money,



do u follow the ethical way of doing business?



are u kind enough to make donations to the less fortunates?




and so many many more things,


which are beyond the dollar sign $.....

so,

do u wanna be proud of yourself merely because of the amout of $ u have,

or those qualities in you, which are beyond the dollar sign.... $..


i don't know.


there is no right or wrong or whatsoever,


it is all about our own perception.


all choices made by us :)



u want the dollar,


or u want those beyond the dollar?



or u wanna strike a balance between both??


your choice.

All yours.